Snake resting on my step -
a baked rock holding heat.
Neither he nor I
intending to move.
With a quick flick he’s gone;
a smooth stone slipping
across the pond.
Friday, September 06, 2019
snake poem
The poetry sisters are thinking about snakes this month, writing short poems comparing a snake to something new. Eight lines or less. Phew, that's a tough one! I don't normally like snakes, but I could right away think of a time a cute little baby garden snake surprised me on my front step. Here's my little poem -
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20 comments:
Your snake poem reminded me of a time I almost picked up a curled up snake, mistaking it for my daughter's jump rope. The colors were similar. Thankfully, I figured it out before I picked it up and soon after, I got my new prescription eye glasses :)
I see few snakes in town, only am surprised by them when I'm in the mountains. Love your stillness response, the waiting for what's next, and that "smooth stone slipping across the pond."
I love "a baked rock." Perfect.
I am certainly with you about not liking snakes. However, I have found that when doing a writing lesson at the sentence level in an elementary classroom, the skeleton sentence "The snake hissed." creates a lot of creative buzz.
I can see the images in this poem so clearly! I'm not a fan of snakes either, but D.H. Lawrence's poem "The Snake" is one of my favorites.
Oh, Andi!! That skipping stone! This is just lovely. Thank you!
I love the image of a snake as both quick and stone-like. It perfectly captures something about snakeness!
I'm not a great fan of snakes either, but I love the imagery of the last two lines. :-)
A baked rock holding heat -- that is PERFECT. And they will just sit still until they remember something random like they left the stove on... and off they go.
I love the unexpected comparison between the snake and the smooth stone slipping across the water. Lovely!
Ha! You capture that frozen moment when NOPE NOBODY'S MOVING. Be it fear, mutual admiration, laziness.... and then ZIP, the snake is braver than we are and slips away. Love it.
Yes, they do like to slip "across the pond." And I can picture this moment, thanks!
What an intriguing challenge and what a fabulous response! From that still "baked rock" to the quick movement of a skipping stone, your words create the moment vividly. I especially like how the alliteration fosters that sense of smooth movement. Wonderful!
Very nice work! I have noticed that turtles seem the same way...like stones, but they move so much faster than you would expect.
Thanks for joining in our Poetry Friday gathering this week! Your snake poem is sharp and vivid and almost makes me LIKE (or at least admire) that snake!
Great image here and description of the snake! It's very unique.
Your poem creates a sympathetic view of snakes. I like the comparison to a stone slipping into the water--so snakelike. I don't dislike snakes, but I don't know enough to feel comfortable identifying them quickly and unexpectedly. Like you, I usually freeze when I see one and hope it slithers away first.
Great lines with the image of a silent rock (the pause) and the slip away part. I would be frozen, too, if I saw that in front of me.
I also love "a baked rock holding heat." Snakes always seem to surprise me when I'm walking in tall grass, and I jump back. I don't know why I don't anticipate them in their own territory!
I love the stillness and that moment of encounter when no one wants to be the first to blink. I also love skipping stones, so I really love the image of your snake escaping this way.
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