Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Haibun #5

My six year old son lay on the sofa drowsing and wiggling his loose tooth. Suddenly he jumped up. "My tooth! It came out!" A quick scramble through the blanket to find the tooth, lost in the cushions. Blood welled up in the gap, scarlet between milky buds. Earlier in the day he had jumped for joy at the sight of a red cardinal in the blossoming cherry tree.

cherry blossoms

lost baby tooth;
a red bird in a white tree
blood between pearls

-Andromeda Jazmon


laurasalas said...

Oh, I like this form, where you get to offer a little preview of the backstory of the poem! It's like going to a poetry reading and hearing the poet introduce each one. Love that!

I love the first two lines especially. That simplicity of the red bird, the white tree. So spare. I confess I wanted the first line to be tooth instead of teeth. And then that last line makes me feel a bit of that violence our bodies go through as they grow up!

Nice, Andi!

tanita davis said...

Oh, how many times my students would do this - fiddle and fiddle and fiddle and ENDLESSLY fiddle with the things until they came out. The blood always put them off a bit, and they would stand there dazed, white tooth in hand, redness welling, having grown just a little in that moment.

And Laura's right - there's a slight violence in growing up...

Andromeda Jazmon said...

Laura you are right - it should be "teeth". He lost two in two days which is why it was plural in my mind. I am changing it now though, since this incident was only one tooth!

Mary Lee said...

(plus everything Laura already said)