Friday, December 05, 2008

End Of The Day

dec 4 009

Looks to be stone,
always there, bone just
left, thrown down and now
alone. Empty wrappers -

what was once known
for wild cones of jazz.
One moan holds all
sewn into the ground.

Perhaps it’s a loan
or rough zone ripening
our own tough heart -
unknown.
.......-Andromeda Jazmon

The Monday Poetry Stretch this week was for "a climbing rhyme, or poem in which the position of the rhyming word changes from line to line. It first appears in the 4th word of line 1, 3rd word of line 2, and 2nd word of line 3. The pattern continues as a new rhyme appears in the 4th word of line 3, the 3rd word of line 4, and the 2nd word of line 5. This continues on and on, giving a stair-step feel to the poem." Click over to Miss Rumphius to read the other poets work.

And then head over to Mommy's Favorite Children's Books for the Friday Poetry Round up. Enjoy!

11 comments:

alotalot said...

I wouldn't have caught the rhyming pattern if you hadn't pointed it out...well, maybe I would have later in the day. :)

I love the way this flows.

Lorie Ann Grover said...

The poem is beautiful, but I'm amazed by your photography! WOW!

Kelly said...

I love nature poetry (and photography)! Thank you also for explaining the rhyming pattern!

Jules at 7-Imp said...

Very nice. That has to be tough to write.

Janet said...

Yes, it feels so natural I would have missed the rhyming pattern.

My favorite part:
"One moan holds all
sewn into the ground"

Kelly Fineman said...

The internal rhyme caught my eye(or ear, really), but I didn't sort out the precise pattern until you explained it. Well done!

Mary Lee said...

Very fun -- both the form and your poem!

Schelle said...

wow, those are some complicated rules! Love the resulting poem, though :)

Sara said...

Your photo of the dead plant makes it looks devastated and holy at the same time. Wow.

I love the climbing pattern of the rhyme--it makes the poem read so organically.

Julie Larios said...

I love how you've adapted this form. Instead of the third line introducing a new rhyme in the 4th-word position, you've added a fourth line and carried the rhyme to the first word. (Gosh, that doesn't quite sound like it makes sense.) What I mean is that instead of
XXXA
XXAX
XAXB
XXBX
XBXC
XXCX
XCXD etc.
you've actually completed the "stairway" in each stanza:
XXXA
XXAX
XAXX
AXXX etc.
which is hard to do, especially when you carry the rhyme into several stanzas. Well done! And I like the way this form allows the ear to pick up the rhyme before the eye sees it on the page. I tried one, too, over at The Drift Record

laurasalas said...

This is just lovely, Andi.

"wild cones of jazz"

I'm in love with that phrase!