Friday, September 14, 2007

Pantoum: Jetty


He's waltzing on slick rocks -
a boy on the edge of water.
Splashed with salt spray,
he spirals on toes electric.

On the edge of water, he's
in the crash and slam of surf.
He spirals on electric toes;
dancing beyond my cautious reach.

In the crash and slam of surf,
he's balanced on the edge of earth.
Dancing beyond my cautious reach, he's
on the threshold of tentacle and claw.

Balanced on the edge of earth,
splashed with salt spray,
on the threshhold of tentacle and claw,
he's gloriously waltzing on slick rock.

-Andromeda Jazmon

Trisha at Miss Rumphius Effect has been running a series of poetry challenges highlighting different forms of poetry. This poem is written in the pantoum style, with a pattern of repeated lines. Read more about pantoums here at and try one yourself.

The Friday Poetry round up is over at HipWriterMama's today. Go read some great poetry!


Tricia said...

It's lovely! I''m so glad you tried this form. Your poems weaves in and out beautifully.

Tricia said...

Oops! It should be poem. I so wish there was a spell check for comments!
Have a great weekend.

cloudscome said...

Thanks Trisha! BTW, I noticed when I upgraded Firefox last time it now spell checks everything everywhere. The comments I leave on other blogs are no longer filled with errors!!:)

jone said...

It is such a wonderful poem and I love the photos with it. I have a fish tank in the library.

TadMack said...

Wow - you poets!
This is a challenging style, and I love how you put it together with pictures of your salt-spray splashed little 'un. Enjoy, enjoy the last gasp of summer.

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

Love those electric toes.

jama said...

Wow. Loved this. Felt the spray and heard the surf crashing. Great conveyance of the precariousness of the situation. Electric toes!!

Sara said...

Love it! And the pictures, too. The repeated line structure of the pantoum sets off the crash and fall of the waves perfectly. What a good pairing of form and subject...

Gawdess said...

Now I am yearning for a shore and surf, the pictures are wonderful and I always enjoy the poems - oh and I did check and my fire fox does the same thing for comments YAY

Elaine Magliaro said...


Great the electric toes, too! Have a wonderful weekend.

cloudscome said...

Thanks for all these kind comments. I really enjoyed working with this form. It does seem to fit with the rhythm of the surf. I am just amazed at my boy's grace and beauty, even when my heart is in my throat at how precarious his position.

Mary Lee said...

Wow! All of it -- poem and pictures -- WOW!

Sara said...

Speaking of photos and poetry, after you mentioned (at my blog) that sixth-graders were hanging poetry in your library, I really wanted to know more about it. Any chance you could take some pictures and post them?

Sara said...

And could you please email me about how to use Mr. Linky for Poetry Friday when I host next week? I'm having some trouble finding the meme you set up. Thank you! SaraLHolmes(at)gmail(dot)com